Jack is cute but kind of emotionally crippled

A few months ago we went to Missouri and brought back 2 dogs. Now it is important for you to understand their upbringings in order to understand their behavior. Lulu is a little white fluffball who grew up at my aunt’s house, with 3 children, an older lab, and lots of fun and attention. Jack grew up at my grandmother’s house, who was dying of cancer at the time. You can already guess their different temperaments. When she DID die, my aunt adopted Jack (even though my grandma specifically said Jack was to go to our family) on the premise that the siblings should stay together. When we visited Missouri for my grandma’s funeral, I coddled Jack. I felt sorry for him! How could you not? Plus, he was adorable. Both of these dogs are very tiny, and very cute. Lulu always got the most attention because she was very lovey and easygoing. Jack, on the other hand is anxious, and his bony hips get in the way of cuddling most of the time.

Anyway. So we took these two dogs off of my Aunt’s hands this year, and I have to say, Jack has become a bit of an emotional drag. He’s anxious all the time, and will never jump up on your lap. He comes up to you on the couch, puts his front paws on your lap, like he’s asking. And when you say, “Come on Jack-Jack!” and pat your lap in encouragement, he turns around and sits down. Not a big deal when I’m on the couch, I just reach down and pick him up. But when I’m on my bed and he goes down to my feet and does the same thing, I can’t quite reach him. So I try to coax him over to my hand, so I can pick him up, and he doesn’t come. He’s sitting on a pillow, so I pull the pillow over towards me to reach him, but frightened by the sudden movement, he promptly hops off. You can see how frustrating this becomes. He requires constant emotional reassurance and coaxing, something I’ve never been good at. It was cute when I didn’t live with him, I was willing to pick him up and put him outside. But now when I’m trying to get him to go out with the rest of the dogs, his inability to understand “come” or “go outside” start to get on my nerves.

Edit: As I post this Jack is being scolded for peeing. Poor baby. I wish he was potty-trained.

Why you so obsessed with me...

Boy I wanna knoww!

Okay, but really. Sometimes I wonder what Ryan O'Connell thinks of mine and Dillon's obsession with him, and I really couldn't put it more eloquently:

I bet he's sitting around a table snorting pills/coke with all of his friends and he's like, "Ohhhh em geeee, you guys. These kids from Idaho are totes obsessed with me. It's cute in the way that it makes me happy that they like my writing, but it also gets kind of annoying. It would bother me more, but they live in Idaho and I don't imagine there's much to do there."

-Dillon Richey.

And that is why we're friends.

Well, there you have it.

My freshman year is over. How I managed a 3.0 Spring semester is beyond me. Don't get me wrong, I tried really, really hard -- but that's just it -- I tried REALLY, REALLY hard. Never before have I tried this hard to get a 3.0 before. It paid off, and I'm really happy with the way my freshman year turned out. I made some awesome friends, had some awesome experiences, and don't regret a thing.

Really, all of my beginning of the year memories blend together in the end. I forget where each night ended up, who was with who where, and what they did. I think they've begun to shape who I'm going to be these next 3 years, and I've got to say -- I like where it's going. I had my ups and downs, but in hindsight, I always do. Throughout high school I had these hiccups too. Some friendships ended, new ones blossomed, but I came out alive.

Life goes on. And I choose to believe that everything happens for a reason, and every person I meet has something to offer me. I'm so lucky to be here, I'm so lucky to have the experiences I have had, and I'm so lucky to have met the people I did.

I wouldn't change a thing.

Ryan Oh could actually maybe come into my life in a very big way

Weird coincidence: Ryan O'Connell works at the Ace Hotel New York, which means that if Alex ever got transferred there for any reason they could fall in love and Ryan O'Connell would be part of my life. Forever.

I'm so funny it should be illegal.

2 ¢

In light of recent events, I've been forced to reexamine the way that I deal with how other people treat me. Coping mechanisms, if you will. I've done it all -- confrontation, passive-aggression, but the one way of coping that always served me the best (in the long run) was turning the other cheek. I am not afraid to speak my mind when I'm asked of it, or state my reasons for thinking something that I do (granted, they might not always be justified, and I will readily admit that) but I will not offer them unsolicited.

I give people the benefit of the doubt. Most I would give a second chance if asked. This has bitten me in the ass more than once, but I do it anyway -- because I believe people are inherently good. This might make me ignorant. But all I know is what I experience. Frankly, I don't care what other people say about how I deal with things, because I've come to this conclusion for a reason, as I'm sure everyone else has. We all create morals and guidelines for living based on our own experiences.

I don't appreciate it when someone writes off my reasoning because they believe theirs is inherently better when it's not -- it's just different. None is necessarily better than the other.

In the end, it comes down to values. What you value in other people and how their values always seem to come out in the end anyway. I want someone who's going to value the same things I do, because I'm tired of being treated as an imbecile for thinking differently.

Why I love Thought Catalog

About every 6 months or so, I find a new internet addiction, and few keep my interest for longer than that. Thought Catalog, however, is different. It's updated often enough to keep me interested, writes about things that entertain me, and every once and a while, publishes an article that wows me. Every once and a while, there's an article so good that it brings tears to my eyes.

It's about knowing that there's someone out there who's going through exactly what I'm going through, they're just better at expressing it. And it's so perfect, the way they phrase things, and the way they always seem to pop up in my life when I need it most. I will swear to god that the editors there have a hidden camera in my room to know when to post things in relevancy to my life.

I know I went through this same obsession with CokeTalk, but this is different. Because I can kind of predict what CokeTalk is going to say--she basically reacts the same way to everything--but with Thought Catalog, every day is a new surprise. (That's the other part, TC updates WAY more than CokeTalk, but whatevs).

Maybe one day, I'll write something good enough to be published on Thought Catalog--until then, I'll have to unofficially catalog my thoughts.

I usually hate remakes but...

This is an exception. DEFINITELY.

Seriously, though. I want this music video to be my life.

It's May.

That means many things.

• Spring. Aka, shorts, tanning, and shirtless men.
• The end of my freshman year. (OHMAGAWW)
• Finals.
• Packing.
• Modest Mouse.
• Iron & Wine.
• Graduation.
• Spring Fling.

This year has flown by. The more things change, the more they stay the same, I think.

It's weird.

I'm sad. And excited. And scared. But mostly excited.