Double standards

Suck ASS. Seriously. Don't bitch about me not hanging out with you and then not invite me to stuff.

Sidebar, Ryan comes home today. Mixed feelings.

NEW FAVORITE BLOG ALERT

I found Dear Coke Talk while reading over someone else's blog, and I must say, I'm in love. This girl is crass, hilarious, politically incorrect, and totally my style. She gives advice to people who (sometimes) ask dumb questions, and she does it with 100% confidence and 100% original style. New girl crush anyone?

So you can submit questions, right? So I submitted one that said something along the lines of "I love morning sex. I hate morning breath. Advice?" And then this popped up on her style blog, Whoretalk.

I feel fucking famous.

Honesty, ironically.

There are a lot of things I would like to blog about right now. And sadly, the things I really want to blog about I feel I have to edit because of who might read it. I can't even tell you how restricting that feels. I want to go into my deepest thoughts, but once you find out who's reading your thoughts, you begin to edit them. And I'm sick of editing. I've always kind of prided myself on being honest -- I thought it was one of my best attributes. But recently I've laxed a little bit on that front. I haven't been honest with myself, and that was leading to dishonest relationships. Ironically, this clip just came on TV.

Pass it On TV Spots Classroom | Values - Pass It On

So here we go. What I honestly want to blog about, because, quite frankly, I don't give a fuck who reads this. These are my thoughts. Don't reprimand me for them. I didn't ask you to read this, or show it to you personally. You're choosing to read it, so read it, and shut your mouth.

Christmas present from Alex. It reads, "SHUT YOUR PIEHOLE". Easily my favorite present.

I'm dreading our upcoming "camping trip". I just know it's going to get really awkward. I was always the third wheel with Ryan and his friends, because I was the one who went to a different school. Yes, we all had the same friends, but I wasn't privy to their inside jokes, and frankly, didn't share the same sense of humor. And now, on top of that, I know where their loyalties lie -- and it's with Ryan, not me. I can confidently say that whatever I say to any of those girls will get back to Ryan. Guaranteed. And now that we've broken up that has become ten times worse. So camping will be awkward, to say the least. I just know I'm going to have a hard time sitting around and pretending that we're all best friends when I know where their loyalty lies. I'm not retarded. It's almost insulting how stupid they think I am, when they think they're being all sneaky. They seriously think that I buy they're actually interested in my life? No, I know whatever I say goes right back to their boyfriends, and right back to Ryan. But if I don't talk to them I'm being bitchy and I hate them.

So why am I going, you ask? Because I want them to prove me wrong. Because they've been trying to convince me that even though we broke up we can still all be friends. And I really, really want to believe that, so I'm going. Who knows what will happen.

Vaguely Titled Blog Post

I'm tired of work. I miss school (mostly the people there). And I had a dream about kitties last night.

Their names were Clara, Maria, and Ginger.

No, I didn't stumble on this.

I was clever enough to find it myself.

Tis the season.

Welp, it's official. I survived my first semester of college -- hopefully with a 3.0. And now I'm home (and by home, I mean bored) for the holidays.

Not surprisingly, I have something to rant about:

Christmas lights.

At this time every year, each yard and house is decorated in full glory with Christmas lights. They range is color and style, each house being unique in amount and arrangement. Recently, I discovered my pet peeve for such lights.

It all started when I was pulling out of my OWN driveway for work. Our lights had popped on (they're on a handy little self-timer), and I couldn't help but notice the net lights draped on our dead rosebushes. Given, we have a lot of other lights up (not excluding the giant Santa and Snowman blow-ups in the middle of the yard), but my eyes immediately went to the dead rosebushes. I would think the point of Christmas lights would be to highlight the POSITIVES of your yard. Like wrapping a string of lights around the light post, for example. It would also make it more visible to drunk holiday drivers on an icy street, "OH SHIT I'M ABOUT TO HIT GIANT A CANDY CANE." 2 birds with one stone. What would be the point of draping net lights over dead rosebushes anyway? What are they supposed to look like? Random heaps of light? I don't understand. So that got me thinking -- what is the point of Christmas lights? And decided they are for highlighting your house, or trees in your yard or something. And then, before even leaving my neighborhood, I spotted another holiday light faux-pas. The house on the corner had lights carelessly draped on their baby trees. Now, there's nothing wrong with draping lights on baby trees. In fact, I encourage it. I'd rather see lights on baby trees than dead rosebushes. But it looks like they let their 6-year-old do it. And gave him a 3 second deadline. I don't understand. If you're going to take the time (and power, for that matter) to put up Christmas lights, at least make them look good. If you don't have the time, why do it at all? You're just going to have to take them down in a month (give or take) anyway.

And then there's the whole deal about the actual lights themselves. Icicle lights? Oh wait those are supposed to look like icicles? Because all I see are zig-zagged white things that look tacky.

I get it -- some people don't have parts of their house to highlight. So people like my parents are forced to drape lights on dead rosebushes (but really, we have no excuse. Plenty of columns to wrap lights on and look pretty).

But now that I've noticed this, it's just one more thing that will bug me about humanity.

Too much time on your hands.

I really, really, need to see this movie.

I don't know why it's messed up. But you get the point.

Who comes up with this shit?

Seriously, I want their job.

Two doughnuts, a bag of popcorn and one diet coke later:

It's finals week. And I have a shit ton to do. So I'm going to write this blog post instead.

I'm a stress-eater. When I get stressed out, I eat. This box just signifies happiness for me.

I prefer Krispy Kreme, but this did the trick.

On the bright side, 24 hours from now I will be completely done with my first semester of college.

Weird.

Maybe my next blog post

Should be about anonymously bitching people out over the internet.

Nah, it's already been done.

Some People

Are really annoying Facebook friends. And no Jen, I'm not talking about you. I'm talking about the person you add because you've seen them around and know who they are, but you don't talk to every day. And then they feel the need to post a status every 30 minutes, alerting you how far they are in their 7-page paper due the next day, how much they miss their boyfriend, or what have you. Well guess what. I DON'T GIVE A SHIT. Trust me, annoying Facebook friend, no one wants to know what the fuck you're doing every single second of every day. NO ONE. Except maybe your mother, but she doesn't need to be your friend. Call her, for Christ's sake.

I know how annoying over-Facebooking can be, so I try to limit myself to one status a day, unless it's really important. And I mean IMPERATIVE to my well-being. Not fucking (and this is a direct quote)

"Power Point: Check

Final Paper Rough Draft: Check

Study for Western Civ Final: ......"

Seriously, this chick has had 4 status updates. TODAY. All within 3 hours of each other. WHYY?

Anyway, back to my point. I try not to be an annoying Facebook friend. I try to make my posts clever. Sometimes I spend too much time Stumbling so everyone's walls end up spammed with my links - but hey, they're always funny as shit.

First real-life concert experience

Was a little disappointing. Given, I was there with an awesome guy, but the concert itself was shitty. In my opinion. First of all, I didn't know any of the bands. When they started playing, it was apparent why: Screamo. Seriously, these people consider this music? I mean, whatever floats your boat, but this was a little ridiculous. We got there in time to see the last song of one band, and then two other bands. The sad part is that they all sounded the same. To me, at least. I should point out that I was trying, really, really hard to have a good time. I really was. I was trying to get into the music, I swear. But I was just embarrassed, to tell you the truth. I really didn't fit in there. Like, at all.

So I decided that concerts were better for people-watching than actually listening. It just makes me wonder where these kids' parents are. First of all, it was a Tuesday night. What kind of parent would let their child go to a screamo concert on a Tuesday night? Not my parents. That's for sure. At least not when I was their age. Which was like 12.

I also decided that I have a hard time taking people at concerts seriously. There's the people that are there to fucking JAM OUT, right up next to the stage, where they attempt to grab the lead singer (who, by the way, hasn't washed his hair in over a month), or there's the people in the back, looking like fucking pricks who are too cool to jam out.

Overall, the entire experience was just awkward. But whatever. I had fun. *Cringe*

Things I realized about myself recently:

1. I am not a cynic.

But somehow, this came as news to me.

I was reading over my friend Maria's blog, and realized this. Don't get me wrong, I love Maria. She's hilarious, and is the only one of my friends (at least now) that doesn't judge me when I choose to drink. In fact, we get drunk together on a fairly regular basis. She is also teaching me how to not be annoying. And when we first met I thought we had TONS in common - and we do. But we also have some pretty fundamental differences, one being I feel emotions, and frequently make poor decisions based on them. Maria is convinced she has no feelings, and laughs at (cringes, really) those who do, thus proving my point that Maria is a cynic. In every sense of the word. When you Google 'cynic' Maria is the number one result. At some point, I would have freaked out at realizing I am not a cynic, that is no longer the case. I've come to terms with the fact that I am fairly sentimental, and overemotional at times. And while I do poke fun at those who get hung up on small things, realizing that I'm one of them is a big step in the right direction, I think. And I'm going back and adding this other part that I cut out earlier, just because I like it. I came to this realization when I was reading through Maria's post about not wanting to get married. It made me question why I wanted to get married, and the answer was simple. Because I'm self-centered and want people to gawk at how beautiful I am and I want to look back at pictures and gawk at how beautiful I was. Simple as that.

2. I don't like having a roommate.

At the beginning of the year, my roommate did a good job of making herself scarce. I didn't mind this, but I also didn't know how to appreciate it - until she started sticking around more. Ironically, this was when she informed me that she was planning on transferring at semester. This wasn't necessarily a surprise to me. She never really made an effort to make friends or get involved with school activities. Hell, she practically lived at her boyfriend's house. And if she wasn't there, she was in our room, watching Netflix (with no headphones, I might add). Anyhoo. She told me she was transferring at semester, and I was absolutely thrilled at thought of having a single. And then, this week, she told me that she's actually NOT transferring.

Well, shit.

So now I'm looking into getting a single next semester.

3. I actually like having a boyfriend.

Well, not really a boyfriend. I like not being mentally tortured. I told Ryan when I broke up with him earlier this year that I was "going to date every guy in college and realize that they're all douchebags" but didn't really believe it. Now I do. The past couple months have been really hard on me man-wise. However, I'm moving on, and am actually over it. I've been telling myself that since things ended, but now I can actually say that it's true. I'm over it, and I've moved on. And it feels AWESOME, lemme tell ya.

And I realize #1 ends with me looking like a silly narcissistic girl, but what more would you expect from someone with their own blog? I think all bloggers are self-obsessed in a way. They think their thoughts are important enough to be posted on a public domain. Whether or not they really are is up to other people to decide.

1,296 words to go

Fuck, I'm screwed.

Proof that the 90's was the best era for music:

Sunday Stumble Day

Because I have nothing better to do.

Quote of the weekend:

"Want to go to lunch?"

"I don't want to date you."

2 Thanksgivings and 16 hours of work later:

It's been a long weekend. And it's not even over :D ! But I've had to spend most of it working, which isn't cool.

Reflecting my first Black Friday experience: People are batshit crazy. Seriously, let's all line up outside of Kohl's at one in the morning to grab shit and wait in line for another hour. Or two. And bitch at the employees for things that aren't their fault. I guess it's my job as a worker of the service industry to put up with bitchy people, but still. This is the start of the holiday season, people! Let's begin with a little empathy, please.

So after working an 8 hour shift (2:30 AM - 11 AM) I decided I was in need of some retail therapy myself. So I did some shopping. And bought some new clothes. And guess what? I feel better! It's amazing what new clothes do for your attitude. I can't wait to wear them.

I thought Thanksgiving at home this year was going to be awkward, for a number of reasons I'm not really at liberty to say. Let's just say I wanted to go home, but I didn't want to deal with all of the shit that came with it. I've found myself nostalgic for the way things used to be lately, especially when it comes to family sanctioned events. It's sad. I LOVE college, but I miss being normal. I'm not really sure how to say it. It makes sense in my head. Because being in college is normal - I'm just not sure if I like who I've become in college.

Why does stuff have to be so hard nowadays?

Ha. That's what she said. ;)

Bored on a Sunday morning

I had a great weekend, surprisingly productive. I judged for a high school debate tournament all Saturday and earned a good 50 bucks. I decided I wasn't very good at it, but I had fun anyway. It was also initiation day for the Delts, so I went and congratulated them on making it through D-week with their dicks and dignity intact (pun intended). And then I still managed to get up early today to do my homework. But the remainder of my homework needs to be printed off, and seeing as how the library doesn't open for another half hour I thought I would spend some quality time Stumbling.

And then I stumbled across an article about an interactive public art display in NY this summer. This is one of my favorites:

For some reason I just really like it.

EDIT: The library doesn't open til 1. Add 1 hour to time spent stumbling.

Harry Potter 7, and a multitude of other thoughts.

GUESS WHAT TONIGHT IS. THAT'S RIGHT, HARRY POTTER 7 MIDNIGHT PREMIERE!

It's going to be epic. And I really, really love my school for getting us free tickets and an entire theater to ourselves. What more could I ask for? Not much, that's what.

On another note, I'm trying really, really, hard to finish my paper that's due tomorrow. Basically, I have until 10 o'clock to finish it, because that's when buses start loading to Edwards. In the middle of which, I have to work the door for the drama department's production of The Passage, which, despite riveting summary, doesn't look all that appealing. How exciting can you make Moby Dick? "Not very" is my prediction.

But really, my life is going to be a lot easier after today. I realized when I was eating lunch how much I just wanted to be able to sit around and do absolutely nothing. How gratifying it would be to not have to worry about a paper or reading that is due in a never-long-enough amount of time. This paper is ruining my whole Harry Potter let's-get-psyched experience, really raining on my parade. And the killer is that it's been doing this all week, its only today that I've actually found the motivation to sit down and write it. And what do I do instead? Take a Facebook quiz to see which Mean Girls character I am and write a blog post.

I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS RIGHT NOW!

T-minus 7 hours to pump this shit out. LET'S GOOO!

Stumbling...

I had a fabulous day.

It started off well. I woke up refreshed, even after getting to bed ridiculously late last night. I stopped at Dutch Bros for the first time this morning on my way to work, and decided that's the only way to have coffee. I went to work and got 4 credits, which is the only time that I've ever filled my shift quota - one per hour. Then I talked to my best friend up in Moscow the entire way home, and a good 20 minutes in my room. I went to dinner with some of my best friends HERE and had a delicious chicken-cheese quesadilla, only to discover that it was curly fry day. Then I made this wonderful masterpiece.

And then I watched Harry Potter and made Nutella brownies with my friends.

I. LOVE. MY. LIFE.

Also, I have this sweet bruise from giving blood.

Update: My bruise is turning cool colors. :D

On rediscovering my love for The Killers:

I've forgotten how much I love them and how amazing they are.

It's FRIIIIIDAY!! :D

And guess what that means! I have to work in the morning :( Haha, not to be a total buzzkill, but that's my reality right now (Seriously, Kohl's? Don't worry, I never wanted to be a normal college student anyway. Go ahead and keep scheduling me for 6am shifts). It should be especially horrendous, considering how poorly I've been sleeping lately. I've never been so sick that it effects how I sleep (I'm a heavy sleeper, just in general), other than the occasional waking-up-with-chapped-lips-because-you-breathe-through-your-mouth routine. For the past 2 nights, however, I've woken up several times. It's a charming experience, really. I find a big puddle of drool where my head just was and my nostrils are stuffed to the point of suffocation. You know, when the side of your nose you've been sleeping on is all clogged, because all of your snot and shit drains to that side? And I'm sure it's really attractive when I'm forced to stick a tissue in my nose because the snot drips like I'm having a bloody nose.

AWESOME. I love being sick. NAWT.

I'm dedicated now, I promise.

In light of reading some of my new-cool-college friends' blogs, I've decided I can really do this. You know, post things other people care about. Because I've realized, it doesn't matter if other people like these posts, or even read them, because it makes me feel better. I'm clever, and keeping all of my witty thoughts to myself seems like a crime. Okay, not really. But seriously. I have funny shit to say sometimes.

Not today, though. I just have some light to shed on my college experience so far. Kind of.

I must say, before coming to college I never fully appreciated the seasons. Being stuck inside a building for 7 hours a day kind of hinders that ability. But I've watched Summer turn to Fall, and Fall is slowly turning into Winter. And I love it, because I feel like I finally have been able to appreciate each season in full glory. Summer on the college campus, for example, was filled with slacklining and hanging out on the quad. Those were good times, laughing, listening to good music, and trying to hide our pit-stains. Then, slowly, it started to turn to Fall. I marveled in the ability to observe the same path that I walk every morning as it changed. Fall consisted of therapy walks with my friend, Cydney. She's a bit of a health nut and likes to walk everywhere, but I can't think of a better way to appreciate crunchy leaves in October. They also did wonders for my mental health since she obsesses over everything like I do-it was mutually beneficial.

Well. This is me attempting to post on a regular basis. I guess it will depend on how often I have to put off World-Civ papers. :)

Facebook Stalking 101: How to find out everything you never needed to know

One of the best aspects of our internet-based society is the gratuitous amount of information you can glean from social networking sites. Profiles can provide enormous insights to everyone in your social circle, from future love interests, to estranged children. This commonality has become widely known as “Facebook Stalking”. As an avid Facebook stalker, I feel I can provide several insights to the phenomena that has become Facebook stalking.
Facebook stalking may seem like a daunting task for those who haven’t done it before. You might think that it requires an extreme amount of stealth and creativity, when in reality all you need is an extreme case of boredom and shameless curiosity. Here are some tips and hints from one of Facebook's best and brightest.

• Watch every video they’ve posted, and follow all links. Feel free to Google quotes that you do not immediately recognize. These could end up being from their favorite television show, movie, or band. Upon discovering where the quotes come from, become the expert on that specific subject. Chances are, they relate to videos or links they have posted previously. Knowing random facts about their favorite band or TV show will give you a conversation starter for when that little green light appears next to their name in Facebook chat.

• Follow your victim’s activities on other people’s pages. Do they comment or post on one person’s wall a lot? Follow the link. Is it funny? Irritating? Generic?

• Another helpful hint when trying to get to know someone from their profile is looking at their information page. What beliefs or political stances do they have posted? Are they listed as a conservative and have several quotes from Rush Limbaugh under “Favorite Quotations”? These small details can paint a picture of your victim that you might have not seen otherwise, or in some cases, reaffirm what you already know. In any case, small details like this work as great conversation starters.

With all of these tips, I bet you’re just itching to get started. However, you’re a little stumped on who to Facebook stalk—no worries, I have here a list that can help you get started.
• New boyfriend/girlfriend? Stalk their exes. You never know what pictures or posts might be kept hidden under “Older Posts” (aka, a year or so ago). Also check out siblings. That way, when they start talking about their family you can put a name to the face; maybe even bring up a recent status update.

• New potential boyfriend girlfriend? Stalk all available outlets. Friends who frequently post on their wall, tag them in pictures, etc.

• Current crush taken? Stalk THEIR boyfriend/girlfriend. Private profile? No problem. Look for listed siblings or parents whose profiles aren’t as private, then look for pictures from family sanctioned events, like weddings and vacations.

Provided a list of things TO DO, I feel it is only fair to provide a list of what NOT to do. So here you are.

• DO NOT like or comment on every single one of their posts.

• DO NOT like or comment on every single one of their pictures.

• DO NOT like or comment on anything that is older than 2 days.

The only time that you should feel free to like or comment as much as you want is when it appears on your news feed. If you comment on anything older than that, you’re being a Facebook stalker—and not in a good way. The key to Facebook stalking is knowing everything about a person WITHOUT them knowing you’re doing so. As soon as you like or comment on something that is, say, 3 months old, it is clear that you’ve been clicking the “Older Posts” button, which is just plain creepy.
After all that, the one question I’m sure you’re all asking yourself is, “What do people see on my profile?” The truth is, a lot. As soon as I got into Facebook stalking, the first thing I did was go to my privacy settings and make everything as private as possible. Now, if you want to see my pictures, wall posts, or information, you have to friend me first, making me virtually unstalkable to those who do not know me (all friends are fair game). That being said, the most frustrating thing to come across when Facebook stalking is someone’s profile that is completely private.

Happy Summer!

It's the first day of June, and my first official day of relaxing. I had a very long weekend filled with numerous parties and lots of checks from relatives. Oh, how it's nice to graduate. In more ways than one.

Question: Do two "half" baths add up to a full bath?