Lately, I've been feeling quite apathetic. It feels like nothing is holding me to the place I am right now--I could take or leave most of it. This feeling usually comes after a good weekend of either 1) hanging out at home with my parents or 2) going to Moscow and hanging out with my friends there, mostly Ryan. It seems like my life has become hanging out at home or in Moscow, interrupted by long periods where I'm forced to stay in Caldwell.
On the other hand, I can't imagine the nightmare that would be transferring. All of the credits that I'm sure wouldn't be transferable and then having to stay in school longer than I ever planned. And of course academically, switching to the University of Idaho would be a bad idea. C of I is much better in every academic aspect. But I KNOW I would be happy there. And if I'm no longer happy(iest, really) here, what's stopping me?
I wish it was as simple as listing out the pros and cons of each option, but it's just not. It's not that easy. If I could pick up and transfer with no hassle and all credits transferred, I think I would.
No, I KNOW I would.
I just...don't like it here as much as I used to. I feel like I'm delaying my happiness because I'm afraid of the hassle that is transferring and I'm afraid of what people are going to think. But, in the end, I wouldn't care what they thought AFTER I left, I just wouldn't want to tell anyone that I'm leaving.
I just. I know what I want, but I just. I don't know.
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